The Maria paradox

de Rosa Maria Gill, Carmen Inoa Vasquez

This book introduces the concept of marianismo, which defines the Hispanic woman's traditional social role just as machismo ordains how the ideal man should behave. Among the chief dictates of marianismo are self-sacrifice, passivity, and utter submission to male authority. In the old country, marianismo afforded a woman a level of protection as wife and mother and gave her a certain power as well as respect. In North America, marianismo is the invisible yoke that bonds intelligent, ambitious Latinas to a no-win lifestyle. It insists they live in an outdated world which perpetuates a value system equating perfection with submission. When Latinas in North America find themselves thus conflicted between their own expectations of a woman's life and those harbored by their families and native cultures, they experience crises of self-esteem - which are actually cultural collisions. In a lively, anecdotal manner, the authors show how to recognize these clash points and then transform them into healthy compromises, whether the issue is balancing career and family demands; turning the traditional marriage into a partnership; awakening and accepting one's own sexuality; seeking help with emotional problems outside the family; or learning to stand up for one's feelings and rights.