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In these funny and twisted stories of American culture, David McGimpsey answers questions that have long demanded answer: What does a teacher of ''Elvisology'' teach? What kind of animal is McDonald's Grimace? Did Emily Dickinson and Walt Whitman ever kiss each other? If Fonzie's leather jacket wrote letters -- who would Fonzie's jacket write to? Are there other kinds of nog besides egg nog? Is it better to write for The New Yorker or to have ''developed scripts'' for LA Law? Is there a worse band name than ''The Agoraphobic Wilburys''? And, of course, what parts of the male anatomy best rhyme.